Hello, it’s me again…
Hey friends, it’s been a little minute since I formally addressed all of my fun internet pals. Well, I’ll take that back, it’s been way more than a minute. If we’re going to get technical, it’s actually been THREE WHOLE YEARS since I sat down & furiously typed my feelings into this fabulously overused keyboard. This feels freaking amazing. (I just said that out loud!) My words like it here so much more than being squeezed between the random to-do’s & grocery lists found in the notes section of my iPhone.
I want to talk about what you’ll find here on Darling Clementine.
INSPIRATIONAL STORYTELLING on subjects like MOTHERHOOD, HOBBIES, HOME DECOR, VISUAL ARTS, PET CARE, and TRAVEL.
Here is what you will not find here.
PRODUCTS THAT I DON’T BELIEVE IN & BUSINESSES THAT I DON’T USE.
I put a big, screeching halt to my last website three years ago when things started feeling yucky. On paper, my business was doing extremely well and growing frantically each day but in my heart I wasn’t feeling true to myself. One day I was telling y’all funny stories about my horrible dentist visits and then all of a sudden I was doing paid posts for a teeth whitening company that I had never heard of. The company wanted me to make sure I included my kids and dogs in the promotional photographs. Cringe.
It put a bad taste in my mouth. It didn’t feel honest.
Motherhood has a way of smacking you in the face and demanding AUTHENTICITY, DARNIT! It has been and will continue to be the most humbling experience of my life.
Enough on that, let’s jump right in to something fun. We made wreaths, EASTER WREATHS!
I am pretty blown away with how these turned out & how well they have held up considering the terrible weather we’ve had the last two weeks in Franklin. This just goes to show the power of gorilla glue, friends!
Adelaide and I purchased most of our easter wreath supplies at Hobby Lobby & Michaels. Before we started putting them together, we both put on gardening gloves! I also put down several old towels that I keep in our garage for crafts & diy projects. I highly suggest a double layer of these because that gorilla glue is strong stuff and it tends to drip.
After everything was set up we basically just went for it! Adelaide decided that one wreath would showcase the eggs while the other would be all about the carrots. We let these dry for 24 hours before we checked on them. I’m going to be super honest with y’all, it shocked the daylights out of me that those eggs stuck to that wreath! They did & they haven’t budged since.
Below I am going to highlight the products we used to make these colorful wreaths. You know what? It’s not too late for you to make one yourself. You can enjoy it for a couple days this year and put it in storage for the next! I plan on enjoying these for years to come. :)
We are so excited about the Easter holiday this weekend. Talk to ya soon!
xx - Christie
Still Swimming…
Preston does a shockingly loud full belly laugh.
“Woah, there.” I say.
He tuned me out at least 20 minutes ago. The only thing that separates his face from the glass is a universal thread face mask from Target. Oddly enough, the only type he’ll tolerate and wear above his nose.
We both stare into the really blue water of The Seas Pavilion in Epcot, all 5,700,000 gallons of it. A shark swims lazily by us again. Preston closes one eye, tilts his head to the side and inspects it like a diamond.
“I think all these fish like you, buddy.” I whisper.
I’m not humoring him. Truly, I’m not. The fish have always seemed attracted to Preston. I’m shaking my head right now because that’s gotta be the craziest thing I’ve ever said. Top five, for sure. But, it’s true!
Maybe it’s the fact that he sits and admires them for so long. This is a walk through exhibit, yet we’ve never once walked through it. We have, however, sat in front of each piece of glass for at least 10 minutes feeling the breeze of people speed walking behind us as they fly by thinking “We didn’t come to Disney World to see the fish”.
Preston never notices. He just studies the graceful movements of the fish and applauds the miraculous fact that they get to live just underneath the glittery surface of the water, his absolute favorite thing.
I sympathize with that feeling deeply. You see, the same way Preston passionately watches and questions the fish & the water, it’s the same way I look at Preston.
What is he thinking? What makes him love this more than that? Why is he upset? Why is he happy? What is he trying to tell me? Will I ever know?
A custodial cast member approaches the glass we’re in front of with a squeegee and a sigh. She’s had to ask us to move multiple times, but now we’re at the final outlook with no where to go but to leave. Her and I both know what’s about to happen. I’ll grab Preston’s hand calmly to move on and he’ll have a melt down, just like he did at all the other viewing windows we’ve been at in the last hour.
Quickly, I get his counting bears out of my bag before approaching him. Hesitantly, I grab his arm and show him his bears. He takes them all in one hand and hops up. We start moving and make it about three and a half feet before he crashes down on his bottom and starts sobbing.
My heart breaks watching his heart break. The cast member is maybe annoyed by the two of us or the job in general, I’m not sure. I get down on Preston’s level, my eyes and words both say “I’m really sorry” as I plead with him.
In between screams, he looks at me with tears streaming down his face and smacks me in the shoulder super hard. Outwardly, I ignore it. Hours upon hours of parent training has molded me into this person. And, what has my training taught me to do?
De-escalate the situation, don’t acknowledge the hitting as long as it’s to me or Jason. Preston has simply gotten so big, all 65 pounds of him at just three years old, his hands are strong! Also, he is my baby! I always wonder if for a tiny millisecond the mask I fasten on to cover the shock betrays me and he sees past it. I don’t want him to know how much it mentally crushes me.
You see, I understand why he hit me and that WHY is what makes everything all the more complicated.
Preston can talk, he does talk. Lately, he’s been in a talking renaissance of sorts. If you say a word to him, more often than not he will say it right back to you. It’s incredible. We’re so proud, and, best of all, Preston is proud.
However, in situations where his senses are heightened, where he’s upset for whatever reason, or there is a lot going on - he often experiences regression.
I’ll try to describe it for you.
Imagine you live inside an invisible box. You walk around the world and see all there is to see and the world sees you, too. They just don’t see the box, they can only see what the box lets them see. The walls of the box you’re stuck inside act as a shield - distorting every word you say, warping every action - confusing your family, friends, and everyone that meets you. You feel stuck. Sometimes, you really want something and you get angry and think “Hello! I’m in here! Do you not understand me? Will anybody ever understand me?” You rage, hitting your fists against the invisible walls that nobody can see.
In that moment at The Seas Pavilion, I know Preston is feeling the walls closing in on him. God knows I feel them too sometimes.
Before picking him up, I have a weak moment. Glancing around the exhibit, I imagine what all the people passing us are thinking, what that cast member is saying in her head.
“Here’s another brat at Disney World.”
“Is she just going to let him sit there and cry?”
“She’s got her hands full.”
“Someone needs a nap.”
Whether right or wrong, I can practically hear their thoughts because they are the ones I used to have before I knew Preston. I know they can’t possibly know us. I try to give them the same compassion and understanding that I pray will be shown to my family.
I force my thoughts away, pick up Preston and leave the exhibit. After we ride the escalator downstairs, we pass his absolute favorite ride at Disney World - The Seas With Nemo And Friends. He rests his head on my shoulder and I promise him that we’ll try to come back again before our trip ends.
I’ve always found it ironic that Dory is the character that he loves the most of all. I can’t help but think how similar they are in so many different ways. Each night at bedtime, after telling him I love him I whisper in his ear a song you might know.
“Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming. What do we do? We swim, swim. Swim, swim, swim, swim, swimmmmmm...”
That’s my family. We’re swimming, navigating all of this life the best we can. Happy Saturday, friends. xx